How to get a lifeguard out of his office

 

Today is the first official day of my holidays.

I don't know whether you have noticed this, but parents get rather funny at the beginning of school holidays.
  I don't understand this. It's the time that we wait for all our life. We've got plans, we have ideas, we have expectations, we are excited.

I woke up this morning and my parents were no where to be seen. I waited until lunch time. Somebody knocked on the door, and I didn't know what to do.
  I phoned my mum, my dad, and talked to the neighbours cat. I decided that I am grown up enough, and being the only male in the house (as the cat ran away again) to make my own decisions. I was lucky that it was just our neighbours at the door. They wanted something. That was OK.

They asked me how I am, and I told them I haven't eaten yet today, and my parents have disappeared.

Our neighbours are nice people of Italian origin, and I started to hope they could make me nice pasta with tomato sauce for lunch, since I am a temporary orphan.
  My mum arrived at this point, and told me off for not reading the message on the table explaining where the breakfast is. How unfair.

I could have told her that it's rather lunch time than breakfast, but I didn't.

Anyway.

I ate my breakfast as a starter, while my mum prepared my lunch.

We set off for a swimming pool in Bassins. I was used to the swimming pool back in Haslemere, which I could reach by bike in 10 mins. Bassins is a good half an hour drive. It felt strange to drive so far for a swim. But it was worth it.

First you hit the motorway, then you turn towards Jura mountains, the scenery changes dramaticly. You drive through the woods with a magnificent view of the Geneva lake and Mont Blanc. The swimming pool was a wooden shed with

1. Entrance door
2. Machine to get seasonal tickets for 70 CHF
3. Barrier to stop anyone who doesn't have a seasonal ticket
4. Changing rooms and showers
5. Swimming pool

It actually exceeded all my expectations. The swimming pool was full of inflatable toys for children, but there was only one oher child other than me.

The glass walls of the gigantic wooden shed offered breathtaking views of the Alps and Mont Blanc.
  My favourite toys in the pool were big rubber rings. I set myself a target. From time to time I liked to get things into motion. I focused my energy on a sleepy lifeguard in his glass office. He looked impossibly uninterested. I tried to jump frm the side of the pool, which is usualy forbidden, I tried to jump from the diving board, which SURELY should be forbidden, and I tried to jump from ring from ring, which I felt was quite dangerous.

He must have been playing a good game on the computer, because he didn't even lift an eyebrow.

After about ten minutes I gave up and started to play nicely. I noticed that the rings are quite heavy, and I wanted to see how many I can stack on top of each other, before they will colapse, and still be able to climb on top of it.

Out of nowhere, in the middle of my experiment, I suddenly saw from the corner of my eye a mass of flying rubber aiming for my head! How outrageous.

Thanks to my quick instincts, I dived under the surface to avoid impact. Just before I did, I got a glimpse of the lifeguard. I quickly re emerged to see whether he wants to play, but from his raphid unfriendly French, I gathered that perhaps not. How unfair.

After this he went back to his computer game in the office.

Lets keep in mind that this was only the first day of my holidays. I haven't even started with the majority of my main plans and experiments. I will keep you updated.